Although there are many a night just as restless as those first days, my role has shifted to a much less integral part. I am no longer the center of their universe. My ideas are generally uncool and hugs and kisses have been replaced by hateful words on occasion. There are moments I must quietly slip away so they don't see the pain filled tears in my eyes. My once beautiful babies are growing up and exerting their independence. Those exciting "firsts" are behind us. We are now transitioning into the dreaded "lasts"... last day of middle school, last day sharing shoes, last year singing to daddy, last loose tooth...
Just an inch behind me, it won't be long before even my baby girl surpasses me.
My son is well beyond me in math. And both teach me something on an almost daily basis.
I often feel displaced in my own life. Unimportant. Expendable.
I can't help but wonder how this happened. And without any warning...
From swaddling babes 100% dependent on me to these strange, smelly beings that sleep half the day and prefer to hide out in their rooms.
But truth be told, no amount of warning could have ever prepared me for this stage of mothering.
Bras. Deodorant shopping. Mood swings. It's only the beginning...
So, I enter these uncharted waters... holding tight to any last sign of youth.
And cherishing every single moment they grant me.
This week we've had a couple rainy days. And to my surprise we found a NetFlix series that even my son enjoyed. We popped corn, found treats and snuggled for hours. It was bliss.
The rains were off and on all day. When they subsided, Little Man wanted to take a walk. I jumped at the opportunity.
We watched storm clouds roll in and got drenched running home as the clouds released more of the wet stuff.
We picked berries.
In the rain.
On Sunday I got to witness rare, tender moments exchanged between father and children. Even fuzzy iphone snaps will be forever treasured.
Although they think they don't require parental guidance, I know better. It will be these difficult years fraught with peer pressure, temptations and heartache that they will need me even more.
So, I will continue to smile and embarrass them in public and do my thing. Because whether they want it or not, I am not going away. And I will root for them and listen to them when they'll let me and love them regardless...
Because I'm their Mom.
It is with these words... that I leave you for a short spell. I don't want to be tied to a computer this summer. I want to have the freedom and flexibility to be spontaneous and present for every single moment.
So, goodbye for now.
This post made me cry! My babies are only 5 and close to 8, but I teach college students. I know that my kids are going to grow up and be little adults that many times still act like children. They to will want nothing to do with me. My sister is going through that right now with my nephew and niece. One is in middle school and the other just graduated from high school. The one in middle school thought my sister was his everything. Now everything she says is stupid. I feel really bad for her. You know what? Just like all areas in childhood they go through stages. Think to yourself, This to shall pass. One day they will be asking your advice and they won't pass it off, it will mean so much to them.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention, have a great summer with them.
ReplyDeleteI could barely get through it myself without tears. I know that this is just a new stage but certainly not an easy one. I'm trying to embrace it and look for the positives. Thanks for sharing your sister's story. It's nice to know I'm not alone... Have a great summer!
ReplyDeleteWell said, and you are making a good choice. You'll be missed and we'll be so grateful when you rejoin us!
ReplyDeleteIt all happens way too quickly, and it is wise to enjoy every moment you have with them.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful summer!
Oh man, Lish! I, too, read this post with tears!! I know exactly what you are going through because I am experiencing these exact things. It's a wonderful time but at the same time so difficult. The eye rolls, talking back and diminishing time is all a lot to work through. We try to remember its all part of learning and growing up, but truly it doesn't make it any easier. I respect your decision to take the summer away. This time and these few years til graduation are all too precious and few. I may follow in your footsteps and formally step away for the summer. It will sure take some
ReplyDeletePressure off! Enjoy, my friend. Hope to still see what you're up to on IG. Hugs.
I hope you enjoy every moment this summer, you'll be missed! I can't wait to hear all the stories of the adventures your family embarks on this summer.
ReplyDeleteYes! The eye rolls. The smart aleck remarks. I'm getting teary just knowing you get it. Not easy, but an important part of the growing process... (Perhaps for both child and mom?) I hope that you will follow suit and cherish these fleeting moments with your beautiful girls as well. I was going to give the suggestion but decided it's a personal decision for each of us. Thanks for your encouraging words, friend! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Karly. I'm sure I'll have plenty to share come September. ;) Take care!
ReplyDeleteFor sure. Better not blink! ;) Hope you have a wonderful summer too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Paula! Appreciate your sweet words!
ReplyDeleteWish you a wonderful and peaceful Summer. And you know what, through the years I've found that no matter how old they get kids... people always need their Mom!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful, memory-making summer!!!
ReplyDeleteWishing a wonderful summer to cherish always!
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your thoughts and sentiments! Enjoy your summer!
ReplyDeleteYes, enjoy every moment. The computer will always be there, but they won't.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fairly new reader to your blog, but I congratulate on your decision to take a break from blogging for summer fun with your family. You will never regret choosing to spend your time wisely. Slip into summer like a favorite pair of pajamas . . .
ReplyDeleteAnd then you'll blink and they'll be married with children of their own. It's true! Have a fun hiatus.
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful summer! Loved all the pics. Looking forward to your after summer photos!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. We'll miss you! Have a wonderful summer with the kids. Sending greetings from Germany :) Dagmar
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful summer.
ReplyDeleteYou’re such a good mom. I am also anxious as I know
ReplyDeleteI would be heading to that road you are passing now. My babies would soon
become ladies and would surpass me in height. I guess our kids may change in
appearance, in size and in outlook but we would always be mothers who will
always be there for them, right?
I know you are busy making happy memories. But I wanted to let you know that you are missed. Hugs
ReplyDeleteYou are too sweet. And I think you just made my day. Thanks so much for stopping over. As much as I've enjoyed my time away, I miss all of my bloggy friends too... Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteTons of great pictures, and our church growing up was called Salem Methodist. :)
ReplyDeleteI am a little bit late seeing this post, but just wanted to tell you that this is such a sweet post, and how wise you are to take this summer to enjoy, and not be tied to the computer. So many different stages of being a mother, and I see so much the sense of nostalgia as your children grow. Know it seems like a long ways off, but there are many more stages to come... way in to their adulthood, and then time starts all over again with your grandchildren. It comes before you can imagine. You are so right though that you will never go away, and all of the stages to come have their good and bad, but all so important! Lovely post, and hope you are having a wonderful summer.
ReplyDeletea very sweet post and somewhere right about where i am. i coincidentally posted about it today and then found your weds link. i'll look for you to come back. :)
ReplyDeletepatty@findingserendipity.com
I applaud your decision! I have kids, too, and they do grow up so fast.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to say that I love that you'll still embarrass them in public! I'm right their with you. They'll get to embarrass their kids one day.... Enjoy your family time! Look forward to your return!
Oh Alicia!! This post struck a chord with me. As my 4 children grew from young children, needing me and headed into their teen years, I can remember the feeling. It can be difficult, but it changes once again as they become adults. They then value your advice and enjoy your company once again (that's my experience with all but 1 of my 4).
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you are doing because deep down, the reality is, they love you and know you will always be there. Friends will come and go but parents don't.
I've loved watching your gorgeous children grow over the last few years. You have a beautiful family!
Children grow up too fast. Yesterday my kiddos were babies and today, they are adults living on their own. How did that happen? Did someone remove the little caps I placed upon each crown to keep them small? No doubt someone did just that. I know the heartache you feel with hurtful lashes of the tongue are shot at you, but it's okay, if they see you cry. They need to know that your feelings count and it's not cool to speak to Mom in a disrespectful,unkind way. I love, love your photos of your family that go along with your post which livens up your experiences and expressions. Thanks for sharing & I hope you are having a lovely summer. I would think school is back in session for your kids now, as the schools in our area are in full swing. Happy blogging!
ReplyDeleteIt happens to every parent. I've got four that are now responsible adults, and two still left at home (15 & 12) that push me to that line almost every day. I must be doing something right or the first four wouldn't have turned out so wonderfully! They don't come with a manual, so we just have to use the Bible as a guide, and trust we are doing the best.
ReplyDeleteI know you are on a break but I've given you an award!
ReplyDeletehttp://faeriebarista.blogspot.com/2013/09/one-lovely-blog.html
As a mom you get to experience it all, and with cameras to catch the special moments is wonderful, thank you for sharing some of your best! have a great week.
ReplyDeleteOh My Heartsie Girl
Karren
I really love your photos!
ReplyDelete