"I've had a few wet dreams..."

were not the words I expected from my 10 year old son’s mouth today.

Pokey and Little Man walked home from school after a half day. My morning was hectic- housework, workout, errands, etc. I wasn’t even showered when they walked through the door. He immediately started firing question after question. Supposedly it was the combined boy/girl puberty video at school today which I knew nothing about… AGAIN!

“Why do girls where pads?

“Why does your thing (referring to penis) do this?" (finger motion up)

“When will my voice get crackly?” (I want it to be like Michael Jackson's)

“Will this happen over night?”

“Why do girls get large breasts?”(as he looked at mine)

Then came the doosey that made my heart stop for a brief second…

“I’ve had a few wet dreams in the last couple days.”

Inwardly thinking I might just die and outwardly trying to be as cool as humanly possible to avoid scarring my kid in any way- I knew I had to choose my words carefully, after all he wanted to talk to ME about this. I took a deep breath and smiled, “Oh, that’s pretty normal. Nothing to worry about.”

This is not the sort of thing in the mom handbook. I am not ready for this. Did I mention he is ten?

I never want my children to feel like they can’t come to me with any sort of question and I never want them to feel weird about their body or their sexuality.

I just didn’t expect these sort of questions yet, not today…. and without any warning! That’s just not the way my mind works best. I’m not good at spewing off witty intelligent blurbs entirely impromptu under pressure. With my luck I’ll say the wrong thing and he will end up on Springer blaming me for his screwed up life.

To quote my niece, "...this is why I am leaning towards boarding school. I don't know what to do with a kid past age six. They start asking questions that I don't know how to answer and needing guidance that I don't feel equipped to give. I don't like the "tell them the whole truth" method of parenting because those kids always seem snooty and overly-mature for their age. On the opposite end of the spectrum, sheltered kids always seem to wear pull-ups until they're 10 and be overly affectionate, which makes me uncomfortable." You can read more of her hilarious post here.

They are growing up too fast and sometimes I just long for my babies back.

If you have followed my blog you may remember my mushy mom moment before school last year- reminiscing about days gone by entirely too fast. Or the last puberty video I knew nothing about when he came home from school talking about testicles and ejaculation, among other things.

I tried my very best to let it roll off and we enjoyed an afternoon together making our bunny pops. (They proved to be just as messy as dying eggs, just easier to clean up. But they are darling and delicious. The kids did great. Pics to come later.)

Then I watched this video…

and tears streamed down my face and I bawled like a big baby. "The Gift of an Ordinary Day" by Katrina Kenison. Very touching. (Pause music on the bottom of blog.)

Make sure to cherish every moment- even the tedious, hectic days- because before you know it they will be gone and you won't be able to get them back.